Category: Exquisite Creatures

Car-Riding Jam

Car-Riding Jam imageThis is Car-Riding Jam. He usually drives with no hands! He should really get a self-driving car so he doesn’t get a fine for driving recklessly.

We couldn’t agree more!


Jet Leged

Jetlegged image Jet Leged is only found in space. She is the queen: Jet Leged is the only one left on the planet Mars. “Help, I don’t have any gas!” says Jet Leged, with her cryptic crown that reads “nostalise” across its front.

This is a truly otherworldly creature!



Hastle drawing

This drawing was discovered in the remains of an ancient library in the French countryside. Archaeologists suspect that it was drawn by an inebriated monk sometime in the early 16th century. Many questions remain: was it called a “Hastle” because it resembles a horse and a castle? Does it depict a design concept or the fancy of the artist? How did someone in 16th century France find lined paper? Perhaps, we’ll never know.


Dystopian Farty Mermaid

Dystopian Farty Mermaid image

The Dystopian Farty Mermaid is a rare creature of our polluted seas. It uses its large eye to search the Great Pacific garbage patch for its favourite delicacy: discarded water bottles. Scientists are struggling to identify how it’s able to convert plastic into oxygen-rich flatulence, which it uses both as propulsion and for defense against predators. Often mistaken for giant Sunfish, sailors of old would attempt to spear them; however, unlike Sunfish, the Dystopian Farty Mermaid can escape quickly with one toot from their rocket-like engine.


Key-mouthed Flyphonophore

Image of Key-mouthed FlyphonophoreThe Key-mouthed Flyphonophore is the aerial version of its deep-sea cousins, the siphonophores. Like siphonophores, it too may appear to be a single organism; however, each specimen is in fact a colonial organism composed of small individual animals called zooids, each of which contributes its own special function for survival of the whole. For example, the ballon zooid is responsible for flight, while the four flipper-legs give it propulsion in its natural habitat, high in the troposphere.

The Flyphonophore’s sharpened key-shaped teeth are designed for feeding on its preferred food-source: packets of nearly invisible bad feelings that float upward from the world below. It bursts the globules of bad feelings, ingests them, and excretes dense cuddle-puffs, which then fall back to the earth to be inhaled by humans. These cuddle-puffs help us feel better after we’re sad.


Spatula-handed Flurb

The Spatula-handed Flerb can be found working in carnivals and circuses, behind the main stage, mostly as a fry cook. It’s handy head-hands allow it to hold onto many things at once, making it a valuable employee. Also, if it flaps its head-hands hard enough, it can fly short distances. They have a friendly, open demeanour, and they love to laugh. This takes some getting used to, though, as their chuckles sound like burps to human ears.